Glorious rain.

I live in Kamloops which is considered to be a semi-desert. Which means we get very little precipitation. Which means we get very little rain.
I love the sun, but I actually don't mind the rain. It is beautiful.
Especially when it rains hard. Really really hard. The kind of rain that you think will make the roof cave in.

I used to be so scared of storms when I was younger. Ask my family. I was scared of rain, wind, waves, thunder, lightning. It was a paralyzing fear. So much so that it inhibited me from living my life.

I can remember one time when my family was visiting South Africa (I was about 11 years old) and we went to this fantastic ocean-side restaurant. I think it was called the Brass Bell. Now, this restaurant was not your typical ocean-view restaurant. It was so close to the water that during high tide the waves crashed onto the massive windows that took up most of the wall space. The waves were taller than people! It felt like at any moment the windows would shatter and the sea would engulf you. It was incredible.

But not for me.

This absolutely petrified me. I could not for the life of me understand why my parents brought me to a place where I could die at any moment. Not only did we go to this restaurant, but of course my family had to sit RIGHT beside the window so that we could actually feel the waves shake the windows. My family knew I was scared, so to take my mind off things my kind sister Anthea decided to take me to the second floor where I could watch the waves.

Great idea Anthea. Let's WATCH the waves kill us. That will make it far less scary.

Well, you probably guessed that this just increased my fear because on the second floor I could feel the whole building shake and my natural assumption was:
Shaking building: I am going to fall off and die.

Super rational Michelle.

Once Anthea realized this was only making me more scared she took me back downstairs. I then proceeded to spend the rest of my time at the restaurant sitting as FAR away from the ocean as I possible, which happened to be the bathroom.

I let my fear of the waves completely ruin my time at the Brass Bell. I could have enjoyed my time with my family but because I was so busy being scared I had no time to appreciate the beauty (or the food!) around me.

I have long got over my fear of extreme weather and I look forward to going back to the Brass Bell and standing on the second floor and delighting in the fact that those waves no longer have a hold on me.
But I am realizing more and more that I have so many other fears. Most of these fears are not as noticeable as the fear I just spoke about, but there are often just as paralyzing.
For example: when God asks me to go pray for a person, my first response is to freeze up. I get scared.
But then I think: what's the worst that could happen?
Here's a list of possible bad outcomes:
1. They don't want prayer.
2.Or maybe they think I'm weird.
3.Or *worst of all* THEY DON'T LIKE ME.
Uh oh.
That would be terrible.
I know it sounds ridiculous, but that is honestly a fear that holds me back from so many things. The fear of not being liked.

Why do we as humans so long for human approval?

Think about that for a second.

Oh Jesus: I want to live for your approval only.
Help me take your hand and face the storm.
I want to dance with you in the glorious rain.